The New English Definitions!

The New English Definitions!

It seems that a lot of our old definitions for things are just that: Old. So a group of scientists (and comedians) have decided to create a new list of definitions for the new year! Here are some of the new definitions we loved the most:

School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay. Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich. Nurse: A woman that wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you sleeping pills. Tears: The hydrolic force that women use to defeat men. Confrence: One man's confusion multiplied by the number of people there. Father: The banker nature gave children. Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections. Doctor: A person who kills your disease with pills and you with bills.  Compromise: The art of dividing the cake in a way that makes everyone believe they got the largest piece. Mosquito: The only insect that makes you prefer flies. Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are. Atom Bomb: The invention to end all other inventions. Yawn: The only time married men are allowed to open their mouth. Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead. An adult: A person who has stopped growing from either end and now just grows in the middle. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Chicken: The only animal we eat before it's born as well as after it's dead. Fancy restaurant: The only restaurant that serves you cold soup on purpose. Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.