A Really Bad Day...
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
The Angel
at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man, "Before
I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you
died."
"No
Problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on my
lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was
nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was
half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as
I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and
noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The
nerve of that guy!
I ran out
onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground.
But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke
his fall and he didn't die. In a rage, the first thing I thought of
was the refrigerator. I pushed it out onto the balcony and tipped it
over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement
of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost
instantly."
The Angel
sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day.
It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir. Welcome to
the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
A few
seconds later the next guy came up. "Hi there. Before I can let you in, I
need to hear about what your day was like when you died."
The guy
sighs and says: "No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was
on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I
had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve
my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and
accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by
the fingertips on the balcony below mine.
Then this
crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps
on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at
the bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn't die right away. As I'm
laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating
pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things off the
balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me
instantly."
The Angel
is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I could
get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "very well," the
Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets him
enter.
A few seconds later, a third guy comes up to the gate. Finally he says, "And what was YOUR day like?"
The guy says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked, inside a refrigerator..."
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